Quality of the day: “Tiferet she-be chessed”
The Talmud states: “One should always have the left hand push away and the right draw closer” (Sota 47a). In Kabala left hand symbolizes the quality of gevurah (discipline, restraint) and the right hand symbolizes the quality of chessed (loving-kindness). The blending of these qualities gives you “Tiferet” – the harmony.
It is an important lesson in education. When raising children we need to balance authority (left hand) with love (right hand). How can love and discipline work in tandem, if they are opposites? Tiferet comes along creating a synthesis of both of these approaches. As King Shlomo says in the book of “Mishley”: “He who holds back his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him early” (13:24).
What do you do when gevurah seems to overwhelm chessed? How do you show affection even while disciplining your child?
Make sure that restriction is just another way to express love. Add reasoning to every ‘no’. Show concern in a way that your child would experience it as love.
Whatever we water, grows better. Whatever we encourage – flourishes. The more you comment on bad patterns of behavior, the more you’ll see of them. The more you praise appropriate behaviors, the more you’ll see of those.
Acknowledging and encouraging good behaviors is one of the harmonious way to blend discipline with love.